bitter.zucchini.cc

diary

neopets

2008 ~ 2012

My earliest computer memories (after Putt-Putt and Spy Fox) were all formed on Neopets. I'm not sure what exactly made Neopets so exciting for me since there's not a chance I was old enough to appreciate how revolutionary it was, as I started playing when I was around 7. But it kept me hooked for many years, and I still log in to my original account from time to time.

I loved the games room even though I was too terrible to win trophies or make many neopoints. I was actually quite excited by the dress up features and the Neocash mall when it was new. I still mourn the end of KeyQuest and Habitarium but maybe the world just wasn't ready. I spent maybe a little too much time watching Neopets YouTube Neovision videos over and over again. But my most favorite section of Neopets? More than anything else? The Neoboards.

I was a huge fan of the roleplay section in particular. I did a lot of "gifted boarding school" RP, which was like superhero high school or something, as it was the popular genre at the time. At any given time, there would be no less than 10 active roleplay threads listed as that exactly. Neopets roleplay is special because due to the short-lived, fast-moving pace of the forum, and the low character limits of posts, I don't think not one roleplay session made it past basic character introductions. But it didn't matter because I kind of treated it like playing with dolls.

Post by karategurl12 reading 'Illiterate roleplayers caused a disease, and it spread and spread until eventually, Earth turned into a giant waffle. And we are the little circles that make up that waffle. And we eat little waffles. And little waffles are made up of little circles. That means, we are the cannibals. Now don't be alarmed, for there is a solution. I've just yet to think of it. Oh whatever, we're all doomed!'

Character profiles were all hosted on petpages, and this was my introduction to HTML and CSS. You'd spend a little time finding a premade layout and changing it a little to suit your character(s) and then dig through Photobucket and DeviantArt and borrow pictures of whatever edgy anime characters you liked. I suppose some people used photos of the popular emo/scene models(?) at the time. And you might pick other images to show the different outfits and hairstyles you'd like people to imagine your stolen artwork original character wearing. I'd sometimes use the Candybar pixel dollmaker to make characters too. None of my OC pages remain, but I believe I was quite fond of cat ears and big angel wings. But I'm grateful to the gifted boarding school roleplayers for instilling in me an interest in big words and moodboarding at a young age. I still hope some day to find some talent for writing!

I went through a rebellious phase too, where I openly antagonzied people with no motivation other than that I was 12 and it was fun. I was quickly told off and learned to keep my comments to myself in a Word doc along with screenshots. Luckily my sickest burns and cleverist quips are still intact.

Post by x_pheonix_tears_x reading 'So what was Cherrypaw's original name, then? Kits aren't born with their eyes open, so she must have had a different name at birth. And I feel bad for Waterfall, then. Spottedfur must have been a right awful medicine cat. And their leader must have been out of their mind as well, giving a cat the suffix -fall, denoting a lack of grace or being broken, because of a vision.' Post by warrior_cat_neko_621 reading 'Cherrypaw! We have training! Ivyclaw meowed inside the Apprentice den. Wake up furball!' Post by icestar150 reading 'OOC: Does that even matter, this is a fantasy, you don't have to be so logical. And Spotterfur was a good medicine cat'. This is followed by an angry emoticon.

While I was local to the roleplaying board, I toured some of the other topics too. Mostly site events, Newbieland, and whatever one was the unofficial one for older users. Having learned my lesson, I did not antagonize people on these boards and mostly lurked. I'm not entirely sure why I took these screenshots as I had no one to share them with, but perhaps I was inspired by other snarky petpages. Neopets was actually the first dramagossip site.

Post by fortyseventytwo reading 'Unless you spent it on fruit and veg. Smart thinking. I don't remember what I bought. It was probably 410 dollars worth of rotisserie chicken.' Post by liziibabee reading 'Stocking up for Christmas already?' Post by fortyseventytwo reading 'Stocking up for the next few days more like it.' Post by zombie_classic reading, 'Do you like Fox News?', followed by another post reading 'Just say yes or no.' Post by madame_dinosaurx reading 'Faux News? Fair and Balanced, my foot.' Post by the_azn_phob reading 'I like it as much as I like Justin Beiber.' Post by leona_dontappreciate reading 'I am soooo cool! I am totally worth conversing with over all the time. Let's talk about how I made keptchup for the first time today. It didn't turn out quite right, but I'm sure next time it will be better!' Post by sheila_fawn, written in text speak, reading 'Wow. I have never seen a more self centered person in my entire life. You really need to go stick your head in a pile of dust and inhale deeply. Anyway, you're not that special. I'm Australian, have blonde hair, ocean blue eyes, wearing ripped jeans and my senior class of 2011 hoodie...so? Who cares about you anyway? You're worth nothing to the world...everybody goes on with their life not thinking about you.'

Search for Tarla is the only site event that I really really remember, and I think part of it was that on the Neoboards people kept getting banned for making 4/20 jokes in reference to the mist. I believe this event was largely hated due to how frustrating it could be. Some people expressed this frustration in very interesting ways.

Post by gone_lupey4life reading 'So I went for a walk to my friend's house this morning (forgot my work clothes there yesterday)...anywho it was really foggy this morning and out of nowhere I said 'Oh yeah! I have to go clear the mist if I have time before work!' Of course this friend doesn't play Neo and now thinks I've lost it. Fun times I figured explaining myself would only make matters worse.'

My childhood dream of finishing the Secret Lab Map was finally achieved in 2021 and with Neopets in the current state it's in, I don't have any actual goals for anything else. I've considered trying the newer fanmade iterations of Neopets but I know that they have their own interpretations of how Neopets "should have been" and they certainly won't match mine. Because in my opinion the biggest mistake Neopets ever made was never putting usuki into production for merchandising despite having no problems selling plush and toys.